Have you heard of that game where you type your name and "needs" into Google and see what comes up? I decided to try it with Alice. Here's what she needs:
1. Alice needs help to start dating, someone to dance with her, and more work (it ends up that a girl named Alice with a blog has played this game before.)
2. Alice needs another break.
3. Musical Alice needs more work (I'm guessing this is related to #1).
4. Alice needs an alibi!
5. Alice needs only one wheatgrass shake, some positive thinking, and a crash course in California lingo.
6. Alice needs a new hobby.
7. Alice needs a new home.
8. Alice needs to make a Moscow dream come true; and
9. Alice needs a new home ASAP.
To which I would like to say:
1. I've been thinking of hiring you a matchmaker, Alice.
2. Yes, you do work too hard on snuggling up with your blankie and sleeping.
3. I really think you could make it big if we signed you up for American Idol. You have such a lovely voice!
4. ...Because I know what you did and I'm not covering for you this time! Okay, fine. I will.
5. Just one shake, Alice. Just one.
6. Because the rug has almost disintegrated this week.
7. Lies! You don't!
8. Who doesn't? and
9. Lies again! You're staying here with me. Unless I can come to the new home with you. And it's someplace warm. With a good looking cabana boy.