Friday, March 27, 2009

Hot Men Holding Pugs: You Never Forget Your First Love.

Once upon a time, at the dawn of the 21st century, I was in college. This was my dorm room for two years.

I loved this place (the room, not the school). It was tiny, the carpet was ripped, the guy upstairs was crazy and loud, and it was haunted. And it was awesome.

One of the things that made it most awesome? If you can avert your eyes from that glorious piece of claymaking prowess, notice the fine art on the wall.

If I had a scanner, you would see that it’s these two pictures:

Gleaned joyfully from the Fun Times Guide.

My love affair with George Clooney goes way back. It’s seriously been decades now-- maybe even a little bit longer than the Human Male's been alive. Which is why he had to sign papers acknowledging that if the two of them ever got into a streetfight, he understands that I'd be rooting for George. It's true. Anyway, I remember being around six or so and watching The Facts of Life and thinking the guy with the giant fluffy mullet that accounted for half his weight was pretty handsome—cuter than Shaggy from Scooby Doo, even.

I don’t know what it is about him. Maybe it’s the name—George has always been one of my favorites. Maybe it’s the substantial eyebrows you can grab and hold onto. Maybe it’s the premature gray that makes him an ageless, dapper, semi-silver fox. They're like Maybe it’s because he was once in an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie.

Whatever it is, it’s always worked for me. My love for him runs so deep, there’s a slight chance that my closest friend growing up was my friend because of his striking resemblance to GC. There’s an even greater chance that I might’ve voted in a primary for a guy who had the same name as a character he once played.

So imagine how ecstatic I was nearly nine years ago to get this Movieline magazine in the mail, a gift from my mom with a note saying that she was sending me new dorm room d├ęcor. Two of my favorite things in one: George Clooney and a baby pug. Proof positive that mothers always do know what’s best for their kids.

Imagine how even more ecstatic I was this past week, after the Human Male showed me last week's picture and I immediately thought of these monumental works of art with George. I tried to track one down quickly, but I couldn’t find any good ones online. And yet within minutes of her reading the blog, Mamala sent me a link to this splendid post, with the note "This picture must make your list!"

Simple, direct, and so very, very true. This epitomizes the purpose of this feature: one very hot man holding an adorable pug. It's gold, baby.

One of my biggest fears in life is that the planets will align just so and I’ll find myself in the same area code as he. I can guarantee I’d embarrass myself terribly-- say something stupid, spill something on him, find out that I'd tucked my shirt into my bra and was having the worst hair day ever. Though at the same time, I’d kind of like to run into him with Alice and be able to have just one picture taken of them together before the cops put the handcuffs on.

Now that would be some fine art.

1 comment:

Mr. Puggle said...

oh my what a hysterical post! thanks for the chuckle to get my week end off to a good start!