Nielsen Money.

The Human Male and I realized tonight that we haven't picked up the mail in a while-- at least a week, but I actually don't remember the last time I grabbed it at all. So we stopped by our box and it was packed. Letters, fliers, junk, even a birthday card for the Human Male (it was last Wednesday) and a letter from our building dated last Tuesday saying that the construction that's been surrounding our apartment since last Thursday would be starting... well, last Thursday.

One item in particular caught my eye-- it was a letter from Nielsen. Yes, that Nielsen. The Nielsen of the Nielsen ratings. The Nielsen of "box" fame. The Nielsen who decides that not enough people watch my shows and cancels them. Still reeling from the hurt of Pushing Daisies getting nixed (and in hope that the letter was a form that would allow me to get this magical box, and that I could single-handedly keep ANTM on forever), I giddily opened it up and found a survey, asking me about my TV watching habits. My slight disappointment that it wasn't a shipping form for my Nielsen box was quickly assuaged when I pulled out not one, not two, but five whole brand-new, crips $1 bills.

They were paying us to talk about our TV habits?! AWESOME! So the Human Male and I filled out the two-sided questionnaire (taking special care to mention in the "add any thoughts" last question that they should start tracking DVR recordings and that I'd really wish they'd stop cancelling all of my shows), and then did what any two rational people and their dog would do.

We rolled in the Nielsen money.

Let me tell you, it was the most fun I've ever had rolling in money. Free TV money feels good. No matter what I do with it, when I spend my $2 share, I'll truly feel I got my money's worth.